Trying To Make Sense Of WWE’s BIZARRE Booking Right Now

Finally some wrestling, says the prospective new wrestling fan, and it is here that they first encounter the Viking Experience! The Viking Experience isn’t a totally naff name to this new fan, because they remain an innocent. Be kind. You once thought Tajiri should have went over Steve Austin for the strap. This innocence is nice.

This new fan is ready to Experience some Vikings! Erik and Ivar, to them, are what the Legion of Doom were to you: badass destroyers who mince hapless dorks. The name doesn’t matter, and whoops, neither does the act. The new fan cannot Experience some Vikings, because the Viking Experience are now the Viking Raiders, and the Viking Raiders have now vanished off the face of the f*cking earth. Their souls are in Valhalla now, having died bravely in combat.

But they won their last match on May 6—against the RAW Tag Team Champions. Does this Vince McMahon guy not like tag teams?

Hey, you’re starting to get it!

But what gives? The crowd seemed to like them. I liked them. Are they injured?

No—but if they were, the company may have blamed the absence of two guys who have appeared on RAW just three times for tumbling ratings. Vince blamed Akam in the last conference call, for f*ck’s sake.

Akam? Who’s that?

You will never, ever find out.

But the Viking Raiders won. That counts for something, doesn’t it? That counts for everything, doesn’t it? Why does it instead count for absolutely f*cking nothing? *The new fan detects a pattern.* Why do the Champions keep losing? Those IIconics, Finn Bálor, Samoa Joe?

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