What If... Vince McMahon Booked AEW?!

Darby Allin
AEW

Allin himself once joked that, had he signed with WWE, the company would have made him "a creepy figure hanging around a boiler room jacking off or something," but that's too on the nose. Allin would play Dexter Lumis in Vince's AEW. He wouldn't jack it, probably, but Darby almost certainly would have been told do none of the absolutely insane sh*t that nobody in their right mind would want to watch. And, after he was banned from his exquisite chain wrestling, Vince wouldn't have looked too kindly on his stunt work, either.

So Darby's bold and well-plotted trajectory to the top of the card wouldn't have happened. Does anybody grab the brass ring? What about Orange Cassidy? Does he get over in Vince's All Elite Wrestling?

This, away from the snark, is actually an interesting one to consider. Cassidy has a way of winning people over (with the exception, of course, of bad faith podcasters who need to bury him in order to live). Jim Ross and Chris Jericho have both spoken of how they didn't get Orange at first, to put it mildly, before realising that he is incredible at what he does and that over is over. The thing is, over isn't over in Vince McMahon's mind. Sometimes, being "over" is just the fans taking the piss (see: Rusev), so it's likely that Vince would have sat down, commiserated Orange, and told him to stick that thumb up properly so that everybody in the back row could see it. That way, the fans might stop patronising him.

You'd never have watched Yuji Nagata or Jeff Cobb or Tomohiro Ishii or Katsuyori Shibata or El Hijo del Vikingo or Hiroshi Tanahashi or Jun Akiyama or Minoru Suzuki or Will Ospreay perform on live television. Sure, they're all great, but plane tickets aren't cheap and none of them know where the hard camera is. Also, another wrestling promotion can't be good. You might start watching more than one if we admit that.

Eddie Kingston might have been hired...to ensure that Cezar Bononi could learn how to work. Kingston would have been on television as often as...erm, he is now.

CONT'D...(4 of 5)

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Contributor
Contributor

Michael Sidgwick is an editor, writer and podcaster for WhatCulture Wrestling. With over seven years of experience in wrestling analysis, Michael was published in the influential institution that was Power Slam magazine, and specialises in providing insights into All Elite Wrestling - so much so that he wrote a book about the subject. You can order Becoming All Elite: The Rise Of AEW on Amazon. Possessing a deep knowledge also of WWE, WCW, ECW and New Japan Pro Wrestling, Michael’s work has been publicly praised by former AEW World Champions Kenny Omega and MJF, and current Undisputed WWE Champion Cody Rhodes. When he isn’t putting your finger on why things are the way they are in the endlessly fascinating world of professional wrestling, Michael wraps his own around a hand grinder to explore the world of specialty coffee. Follow Michael on X (formerly known as Twitter) @MSidgwick for more!