Why WWE's New Faction Is Already Doomed To Fail
WWE's production is so overbearingly slick that it cannot allow itself to look bad. Try to disregard the inherent irony of that statement. Hey! Maybe this was all metafiction. Maybe last night's RAW was a commentary on how polished and off-putting WWE's look is. Maybe that's the renegade group's first order of business!
Or maybe it was all a load of complete b*llocks.
This new faction didn't even headline the discourse because WWE, in an insane short-term hailstorm of several sh*tty new ideas, tried to grab a rating as if it were an octopus, which is actually an insult to octopuses. Octopuses, unlike Vince McMahon, are capable of long-term thought. The beloved Octopus Paul correctly guessed every result of Germany's entire 2010 World Cup campaign. Vince McMahon, a week after promising investors a new star-making initiative, brought back the 50 year-old Shane McMahon, who debuted as a regular on WWF TV in 1998, for the good 'ol short-term boost.
On the subject of the bullsh*t that detracted from the new faction - for f*ck's sake, maybe don't bury the lede if the lede is going to literally f*cking change everything - 'RAW Underground' in itself illustrated, once again, that change is only ever cosmetic. It was framed as an illicit fighting ring. Sort of. 'Underground' has outlaw connotations, but the thing is is that the unsanctioned quality of the "fights" didn't feel remotely outlaw because "two wrestlers simply fight under the immediate orders of an authority figure or themselves without medical clearance or contractual agreement" is how WWE has operated in kayfabe for ages now. WWE can't break the rules because there are no rules to break. Moreover, if this was Shane McMahon commandeering the show, the constant camera cuts totally undermined that idea. Guys. Guys. Maybe Kevin Dunn isn't a beaver. Maybe he's a mole!
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