3. John Cena Gear In General
I've mostly accepted the fact that John Cena is just not aimed at older fans. His cheesy promos and Superman character are there to hook in the younger viewers. This means that his merchandise is also aimed at kids. But don't think you're off the hook for this article John. No, I'm a very petty man. Let's get the obvious out of the way first. Not to steal material from the Rock, but the multicoloured shirts are an eyesore. You know the ones. There's one in every colour of the rainbow, with a cartoon of Cena on the front and the slogan NEVER GIVE UP. I can only assume that this is also the slogan of the WWE Merchandise department, who also knock out matching hats and armbands for every new flavor of Cena shirt. I can just imagine the board meeting, with some poor guy pitching new slogans and logos for John Cena t-shirts only to be shot down by the genius who suggests, "WHAT IF WE TRY A NEW COLOUR!" Indeed it seems Vince McMahon is happy to power forward with new John Cena t-shirts until the only colour left is "Skidmark Brown." But these aren't the only terrible t-shirts that Cena has sold over the years. Who else needs a shirt that has a built in championship belt? Has he not noticed yet that it doesn't even extend around his whole waist? And that's not the most irritating thing about that shirt. On the back it says, "RTIME=NOW." Let that sink in for a minute. I wish his other catchphrase of "U can't C Me" was literal when it came to his t shirts.