Im headed to Toys R Us right now. That is a phrase I never thought Id hear Kane say. Its a phrase I never wanted to hear Kane say. WWE loves cute. They want all of their wrestlers to look like big cuddly teddy bears that you can snuggle up with, and whose cheeks you could pinch and make baby noises to. This is not a good way to run a wrestling company. Sure, this video wasnt aired on Raw, but its on their official Youtube channel, and been watched almost three hundred thousand times in the course of a few days. Is there one child out there who saw Kane talking to someone in a giraffe costume and then asked their parents to buy them his action figure? You know what? Lets say yes. One kid did that, which means the company sold an $8 toy. Is that worth making Kane look even more like a cartoon than ever before? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xxsw2gk5rkw The man cant bother to show up on Raw, but hes out there selling his wrestling soul to a giraffe. Im still trying to wrap my head around this segment existing, because it sucks so bad that the demographic that it was aimed for could have written better material. Time to kick out.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
