What I was gonna do Next? -James Storm on Impact.
Whoa, all right, finally some shots fired at NXT! I mean, really, really quiet shots that theyll probably never hear. Like a potato gun being shot into a remote lake, but weve got ourselves a war! Well, you cant spell amateur hour wrestling promotion accidently playing a theme song way too early for a team we havent seen together in years without T-N-A I mean, theres gotta be a t, and an n and an a in there somewhere. As Bobby Roode was getting beatdown on Impact by Bram and Eric Young, the old Beer Money music began to play for a moment. Thats odd. That was a dead giveaway for anyone who remembered that tune, that the rumors of James Storm returning was true. Josh Matthews had to try and cover it up rather awkwardly. Well, about 30 seconds later Storm did show back up, and helped clear the ring with his old partner. He cut a promo and declared he was back. And THEN the Beer Money song hit. So they were only like five minutes late. Unfortunately, that wasnt the only bad thing about this segment, as TNA pulled a Seven/Vince Russo number by having Storm saying he left TNA because I didnt like who I was portraying. I just wasnt having fun anymore. Oh yeah, and his grandma didnt like it either. Didnt like who he was portraying? Oh yeah, his old gimmick. Right, so THAT wasnt real, but everything else on Impact is? That kind of talk just insults the audience who get invested in the stories, and breaks the narrative. I mean, if I cant even believe that Storm was an evil cult leader, then how am I supposed to believe in the story that Dixie Carter can run a competent wrestling promotion?
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
