7. We Need Rules!
Everyone who competes in the Royal Rumble is a big, dumb idiot. Everyone! If you are entered into the match, why in the hell would you actually get in the ring willingly? As the announcers pointed out, theres no disqualification, so really, every wrestler whose music is played should just sit at ringside until all 30 men are out, and THEN the match should begin. Just an hour of nothing. Somehow, Miz was the only one smart enough to take advantage of these lack of rules. The Rumble can be awesome, but the company makes it hard to get invested in it at times. For example, The Wyatt Family ganged up on Brock Lesnar after hed been eliminated and threw him over the top rope. The refs have no problem with this. This is dumb, and it makes Brock look like a corporate hack. Otherwise, he should have got back in the ring, and tossed out the leader of the guys who threw him out. But he didnt. He just walked to the back and accepted his fate, and then probably ate a Jimmy John's sub. To make things logically consistent, just DONT let anyone who has been eliminated come back in the ring. Come up with a rule that they will be suspended for a month, or are fined $100,000 or cant appear in any anti-bullying ads if they do. Have a rule that states if a wrestler doesnt get in the ring by the time the next persons music hits then theyre disqualified. Make the match seem sacred in that sense. Sure, you can still have goofy entrants (Im still mad there was no Disco Inferno, now that A.J. Styles has debuted, he's the biggest name to have never been in WWE!), but have some laws, otherwise the entire roster looks like fools for not even bothering to win.
Andrew Soucek
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
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