If you enter TNAs Feast or Fired match willingly, you are an idiot (much like the Rumble entrants). This is a match where four briefcases are hung above the ring posts. One contains a World Heavyweight Title shot, one has a King of the Mountain Title shot (which may be the worst punishment of all), another has a Tag Title shot, and the last contains a pink slip. If you beat up a bunch of other men, and give everything you have to get that "fired" case, it does not matter. You are gone. Heres the thing, two of those titles are kind of worthless. Theres only like three tag teams in the entire division, so just wait a couple weeks and youll get your match. And the KOTM belt is the dumbest sounding title of the millennium. The TNA World Title makes sense as a prize, but you only have a 25% chance of getting that one if you win, and Tyrus already has a future shot at the belt. We need two people with future title opportunities right now? Just put a briefcase with a pink slip in it, and give it to whichever writer keeps pushing for this idea.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
