I think Shane McMahon is the most formidable opponent Undertaker has ever had at WrestleMania. -Vince McMahon on Raw.
Yeah, I guess if you dont count Brock Lesnar, HHH, Kane, Jake Roberts, Shawn Michaels, Mark Henry, Jimmy Snuka, King Kong Bundy, Diesel, Sycho Sid, The Big Bossman, Ric Flair, The Big Show and A-Train (at the same time), Batista, Edge, and CM Punk. Then yeah, I guess Shane is Undertakers most formidable opponent. I could go either way on Giant Gonzalez. However, if Shane wore the furry naked man suit, he would clearly be more intimidating. How is it that Shane vs. Taker becomes more ridiculous and less exciting every week? Its partly because Super Shane is too hard to get behind. The son of a billionaire who moonlights on incredibly rare occasions as a professional wrestler gets to be positioned as just as tough as they are...even though the man has never even removed his shirt on TV. Its not just Vince who is overshooting Shanes ability. The pundits are stumped! An interview on Raw asked a variety of wrestlers and personalities who they thought was going to win, and Booker T exclaimed that he Cant call it. He cant call it? He has no idea who would win in a fight against one of the top five WWE stars of all time, and a man who hasnt wrestled in six years, and isnt a real athlete? Why didnt whoever was directing that segment say Cut! Booker, um...if wrestling were real, which is what we have to pretend in these segments, why in the hell would Shane McMahon have the slightest chance against The Undertaker? Taker is 22-1 at WrestleMania, and Shane couldnt beat Test. The McMahons have positioned themselves for years as being smarter than us and their wrestling talent. But when they try to portray themselves as able to hold their own against a trained fighter, thats when they really cross the line into fantasy and incredible narcissism. Time to kick out.
As Rust Cohle from True Detective said "Life's barely long enough to get good at one thing. So be careful what you're good at."
Sadly, I can't solve a murder like Rust...or change a tire, or even tie a tie. But I do know all the lyrics to Hulk Hogan's "Real American" theme song and can easily name every Natural Born Thriller from the dying days of WCW. I was once ranked 21st in the United States in Tetris...on the Playstation 3 version...for about a week.
Follow along @AndrewSoucek and check out my podcast at wrestlingwithfriends.com
