WWE Battleground 2017: 9 Results Predictions

1. Orton Sentenced To Three-Count In Punjabi Prison

BG Results 2
WWE.com

Aside from the Kennel from Hell, was the Punjabi Prison the least likely gimmick match to make a comeback at the outset of 2017? There're no complaints from here: it's unequivocally interesting, and a terrific way to reuse bamboo otherwise rotting away in a Connecticut warehouse when it could have been fulfilling a second life as an attractive set of patio furniture.

Obviously, this match is the same deal with Rusev and Cena, except this tiresome, questionably racist angle has been dragging on for about nine years. Thankfully, it looks set to end inside the panda paradise this Sunday.

Unlike his one-time half-brother The Great Khali, the proud native of Montreal, Punjab is almost certain to successfully escape the wooden mesh with belt intact. He can then look forward to being crushed by John Cena as part of his giant game of Risk.

Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.