WWE Hell In A Cell 2017 Review

Hell in a Cell Usos New Day
WWE

The New Day's attire from UpUpDownDown suggested their Hell in a Cell clash with The Usos would be all fun and games, and when a veritable brass band of weaponry was introduced to the action, it seemed a bloodthirsty feud was being watered down with misplaced comedy. Thankfully, the vicious Usos interrupted the weekly gong show with a violent rebuttal of their own. It says a lot about Jimmy and Jey's successful reinvention that they can wear red chinos - once the preserve of supposedly fashion-conscious teens heedless of the awful reality - and still look bad-ass. So it proved to be a scarlet day all round for the twins, The New Day's brass no match for The Uso's wood-winding assault. Picking up the titles means this feud is set to run on, and for once, we're grateful of the fact.

The suspicion that the show had peaked far too early was soon bolstered by the depressing realisation that Randy Orton was up next. At this stage, Rusev losing is as reliable as a German train, to the point that we don't even need to think about it. It didn't take Raymond Babbitt to count the sweets in this jar, so quite why it needed to last quite so long when the pair already landed on the perfect duration (9 seconds) is anyone's guess. Unsurprisingly, abject.

Despite not even being part of the show, Kurt Angle became the latest in a line of Hall of Famers to undermine their esteemed legacy by dressing as a segregationist fried chicken mascot, before we were reminded of Daniel Bryan's earlier decision to stick two fingers up at punters by messing with the card on a whim. Tye Dillinger's obvious inclusion as the fall guy meant that as with the last bout, the US title contest was a case of waiting on-hold for the inevitable outcome. On cue, Baron Corbin sneaked a pin over Dillinger for the win, a move so publicly telegraphed by his clean loss to the same opponent on SmackDown that the Data Protection Act probably needs a review. The match itself was nothing to write home about, but a phone call would do it justice.

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Editorial Team
Editorial Team

Benjamin was born in 1987, and is still not dead. He variously enjoys classical music, old-school adventure games (they're not dead), and walks on the beach (albeit short - asthma, you know). He's currently trying to compile a comprehensive history of video game music, yet denies accusations that he purposefully targets niche audiences. He's often wrong about these things.