WWE RAW Review: The Weirdest Contract Signing Ever Edition

WADE BARRETT VS CHRIS JERICHO VS THE MIZ: TRIPLE THREAT FOR INTERCONTINENTAL CHAMPIONSHIP This match made me so happy. This match was main event caliber. And it finally proves my point that just because a title isn€™t the main championship for a brand, it doesn€™t mean that the matches can€™t be great. This match had great action, pacing, drama, and a general sense of not knowing what was going to happen. This match should have taken place at Wrestlemania and given about 20-25 minutes. All of these guys can go and put on a great match. I€™m fine that Barrett won and retained the title. RAW should be having these kinds of matches consistently. Having matches like these on a regular basis helps enhance the mid-card talent that they have. I really enjoyed Jericho in this match as a main-eventer who isn€™t opposed to competing for other titles. He helped everyone in that match attain their true potential. It was just a great match and definitely top 3 for the year on RAW. I need to see more matches like this and less matches like Cesaro getting destroyed by whoever. BROCK LESNAR/TRIPLE H CONTRACT SIGNING Oh, the good ol€™ contract signing main event. These are always predictable and boring, with the end always being a giant scuffle or brawl. Last night€™s was no different, only it was a lot creepier. Paul Heyman came out to get Triple H to sign the contract. Heyman took things too far, of course, saying things like €œThe stipulation will be the winner gets Stephanie McMahon. Actually, shouldn€™t the loser get Stephanie?€ Triple H snapped and started beating Heyman. This wasn€™t a typical beating though, but rather a creepy, almost rapey beat down. Triple H pulled Heymans ugly ponytail, ripped his clothes open and smacked his chest while saying tough guy things. The weird part was that the camera was all up in the THIS BUSINESS when this was going down. Anyone walking by my TV was probably thinking I was watching anything but Wrestling. I€™m also disappointed that Triple H didn€™t dip the pen into Paul Heyman€™s head wound before signing the contract. I thought that would have been a nice touch. I did like Triple H€™s line about €œGO ON, RELEASE YOUR MONSTER!€ That was cool. Lesnar rushed the ring, chair in hand, but Triple H grabbed his sledgehammer to defend himself. At this point, I was afraid we were going to have to wait a week to find out the stipulation. Luckily, we didn€™t. At Wrestlemania, Triple H will take on Brock Lesnar in a NO HOLDS BARRED match (which is like a Steet Fight but they won€™t be wearing jeans). The other groan-worthy stipulation is that Triple H€™s career will be on the line. I hate when they do that because they write themselves into a corner. Either you give the ending away (Triple H wins because he doesn€™t want to retire) or they have Brock Lesnar win, and later hate to retcon Triple H not having a career. I was also disappointed that it wasn€™t a First Blood match like I had hoped. Oh well, we will see how they deal with this issue in about two weeks. In conclusion, RAW wasn€™t bad last night, just a bit weird. And several matches were ones we had already seen 1000 times. Wrestlemania matches are starting to fall into place and I am liking what is going down so far. I€™m still a little worried about them filling 4 hours though. I love Mark Henry VS Ryback but I don€™t want to see 45 minutes of it. Maybe the next two weeks will give us some throwaway matches. Oh well, until next week, have a great one! What did you think about last night? Love it? Hate it? Ready for Wrestlemania? Let me know in the comments below!

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I'm a 31 year old writer and stand-up comedian from the good ol' USA. I graduated from the University of Southern Indiana with a degree in Communications that I use to to write jokes on the internet. I'm an avid gamer, media consumer, and pro wrestling fan. I'm also the co-host of the podcast Pop Culture Pizza Party, available on iTunes and Spotify