WWE Royal Rumble 2018: 11 Things That Must Happen

4. Brock Lesnar Wins, Kane Loses, It Ends Quickly

Kane braun Strowman
WWE.com

That has to be the only reason Kane is in this match, right? The Big Red Monster shouldn’t be anywhere near a pay-per-view match in 2018, let alone one for the WWE Universal Championship. Kane has had a Hall of Fame career, but it is a tenure that must end sooner rather than later. If he isn’t pinned in this match, something is very wrong.

Brock Lesnar is on a collision course with Roman Reigns for WrestleMania 34, and it is extremely unlikely that he will be knocked off that path at the Rumble. There is a minutely small outside chance that Braun Strowman picks up the win, but the chance may well have dissipated in the typing of that sentence.

This match needs to go no longer than six or seven minutes. It truly needs to be a violent car-wreck, one that sees Braun Strowman do that thing where he runs really fast through something. The Monster Among Men will take himself out, allowing Lesnar to pick the obsolete Big Red Machine up and hit him with a single F5 for the win. Lesnar/Strowman II is saved, and Kane can ride off into the mayoral sunset.

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Born in the middle of Wales in the middle of the 1980's, John can't quite remember when he started watching wrestling but he has a terrible feeling that Dino Bravo was involved. Now living in Prague, John spends most of his time trying to work out how Tomohiro Ishii still stands upright. His favourite wrestler of all time is Dean Malenko, but really it is Repo Man. He is the author of 'An Illustrated History of Slavic Misery', the best book about the Slavic people that you haven't yet read. You can get that and others from www.poshlostbooks.com.