WWE Survivor Series 2018: Star Ratings For All 8 Matches
5. RAW Tag Team Champions AOP Vs. SmackDown Tag Team Champions The Bar
Nothing but disappointing, pointless pretext to a juvenile sight gag even by Vince McMahon’s standards, what promised to be a wicked bruiser of a bout delivered only a wicked pisser. Not “wicked pisser” as in Bostonian for good: rather, a cruel visual gag in which Drake Maverick, because he is exponentially smaller than the Big Show, pissed his pants in fear when in his clutches.
This really delivered nothing else at all memorable. If we’re being kind, Cesaro’s rope-assisted uppercut always looks great, and Akam, when he shoved Sheamus into a pinning position, may have absorbed some of the nuances ordered to him by NXT’s genius production crew.
Ultimately, it was just a match, and it was barely worth even the minimal effort.
This wasn’t even the most pathetic punchline that emerged from a totally bizarre nine minutes. As Sheamus opened the match, and grabbed a headlock on Akam, Enzo Amore (!), legit hijacking the show, cut a promo. Most only became aware of this after the fact. He was then forcibly removed from the scene in an all-too-rare moment of karma. He even made a custom title belt for his depressing publicity stunt, for which, Bart Simpson-in-Shelbyville wig and all, he became (even more of) a total laughing stock.
The idiot is such a narcissist that he’ll end up bragging about the scene on a terrible rap song, but for now, we appreciate Enzo for providing the banter that we crave.
Star Rating: **
Intentional Banter Rating: -*******
Unintentional Banter Rating: *******