10 Crazy Things You Just Have To Accept To Enjoy Spider-Man

6. Nobody Knows His Secret Identity

One ability Peter Parker definitely didn't inherit from the creepy crawler what done him wrong was the spider's ability to sneakily skitter about the place without drawing attention to itself. Spider-Man is most definitely not stealthy. At all. And yet his secret identity is one of the most closely-guarded in comic books, and with good reason €“ any time a villain has discovered the dork behind that red webbed mask, they've immediately gone after his family and loved ones. Despite Peter making such a big deal about concealing his alter ego, though, he sure does give people plenty of opportunities to figure out who he is. Dude's had his real name leaked to more bad guys, girlfriends and friends-of-friends than Batman, and Batman is especially bad at this sort of thing. Guess nobody taught him to keep his mouth shut when he was travelling round the world, learning to be a superhero. At some point somebody would've spilled the beans, right? You see the sort of pond life who will sell any sort of intimate details about the most Z-list celebrities to the tabloids in our world. You just know at some point somebody who knew Spider-Man's secret identity, and was a little down on their luck, would try and hawk that information to the highest bidder. Which would end up being the Daily Bugle, obvs. Of course the concept of superheroes having secret identities is kinda goofy in general, what with all the technology €“ CCTV, cell phones, digital cameras and the like €“ around these days which could easily pick out somebody doing a quick change in a phone booth. Spidey would be especially screwed since he seems to always get dressed into his super-threads in an alleyway, or on top of a roof, or somewhere else incredibly public. You're telling us nobody's noticed him do that yet? Hmmm.