10 Grim Realities Of Superhero Origins

9. The Fantastic Four Would Have Alzheimer's

The origin story: Reed Richards was a brilliant, if a little arrogant, scientist. He mans a mission to space but is too impatient to do proper safety checks or to recruit a qualified crew, and so decides to take off in a shuttle alongside his fiancee Susan Storm, her brother Johnny, and Reed's best friend Ben Grimm. After leaving the planet's atmosphere their ship is bombarded by cosmic rays, sending them crashing back down to Earth, where they discover the rays have dramatically altered their physiology: Susan can turn invisible, Johnny can catch fire, Ben has turned into a big rock monster and Reed can stretch every part of his body to extreme lengths. They use those abilities to become the Fantastic Four, the first superhero team of the Marvel Age!

The grim reality: We suppose it probably goes without saying that cosmic rays wouldn't transform you into a fun superhero team. We probably should point out that, despite the name, cosmic rays aren't a fantastical comic book invention, masquerading as science - they're an actual thing. It's something that's actually taken into consideration for space shuttle missions IRL, although for the most part it's just background radiation that doesn't have much effect.

If you were "bombarded" with cosmic rays in the way the Fantastic Four were, then the least you could hope for were cataracts; the worst health effects screw with your central nervous system and accelerate the onset of Alzheimer's disease. Which is a lot less superheroic.