6. Badger
Norbert Sykes was the victim of a traumatic childhood who also had multiple personality disorder. Like most mentally ill people (just kidding!), Norbert willingly joins the army and is shipped off to Vietnam where he is inevitably captured by the Viet Cong. While imprisoned and starved, he begins to trap and eat roaches for sustenance. In a strange turn of events (even for a comic book) the roaches begin to enthusiastically present themselves to be eaten. It was not too long after this that God appeared to Norbert as a giant badger named Myrtle. It might have been dehydration or brain parasites he caught from eating roaches, but a side effect of his divine vision gave Norbert the ability to talk to any and all animals and also made him an instant martial arts expert.