6 Reasons Why Jonathan Hickman’s Infinity Was Absolute Drivel

5. Thanos Is Monumentally Thick

Thanos In the dreary mini-series Thanos Rising, Thanos becomes a space pirate and travels through space fathering kids across the universe - yes, that was the entire point of those five issues! Towards the end of the series, he begins going back to these worlds to kill his kids in an effort to impress Mistress Death, whom he wants to get with 'cos he's nuts. Infinity continues this weak storyline as in the first issue we see Thanos going to different alien worlds and demanding they give him a tribute, which are always kids. One of his genetically engineered assassins called Outriders goes to Earth and discovers from probing Black Bolt's mind that the last of Thanos' offspring, Thane, is hidden somewhere on Earth. This alerts Thanos to Earth (though to be fair he does have a long and complicated history linking him to it) and, coupled with the fact that most of the Avengers are off-world, prompts his invasion of the planet. So the series is about Thanos killing his son. That is, until about halfway through the series when he discovers a doomsday bomb in Wakanda's Necropolis and decides that in addition to killing his son, he will also blow up Earth. Except if he blows up the planet, he also kills his son, so he should only have one goal - set the bomb, escape, planet blows up killing everyone including his son. Instead, he allows himself to be distracted once Ebony Maw captures Thane, goes to see Thane and... doesn't kill him. So instead of focusing on what is clearly his only objective, he decides to throw off his plans by going to Thane. Fair enough, maybe he wants to speak to Thane, impart some vital piece of information or maybe he wants to personally kill him? Nope and no. Thane has no information to give Thanos and Thanos has really nothing to say to Thane besides telling him why he wants to kill him: "Because you keep me awake at night. The very idea of you out there... existing". That's the entire reason for all of this. Satisfied? Me neither. Then instead of killing him, Thanos stares at Thane and waits. This all happens in the fifth issue and yet when we get to the sixth and final issue, he's still there, waiting, not killing Thane despite this being THE WHOLE POINT OF HIS BEING THERE! Thanos has two goals with enough time to accomplish both and doesn't do anything, leading to failure of both. He is an idiot, or at least Hickman is a terrible writer for making Thanos so damned stupid.
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