5. The Pointlessness Of Batmans Rogues
The Long Halloween didnt need to be 368 pages long - 13 issues is far too long to tell this boring story. But, as this is a Batman book, Loeb pointlessly includes an array of Batmans famous foes to clearly signpost this fact. Except there is no reason for any of the villains to be included in this book. Solomon Grundy appears for no reason except that he lives in Gothams sewers and Batman happens to go down there and lo!, there is Grundy at the exact spot Batman happens upon! Carmine Falcone a supposedly smart and successful mob boss whose decisions led to his stranglehold of crime in Gotham for no reason decides to start hiring super-villains (calling them super is really giving them too much credit). He hires Poison Ivy to distract Bruce Wayne but doesnt plan on any interference from anyone so when Catwoman shows up for a throw-down, the plan immediately falls apart. When you want a bank robbed, who would you hire - competent professionals, right? But Falcone hires the Scarecrow and the Mad Hatter to rob a bank! One is a spindly mad psychologist who wears a suit stuffed with straw and the other is a demented midget spouting Lewis Carroll. Theyre here because theyre part of Batmans world, not because a mob boss would really find these two idiots more useful than less-colourful but more efficient professional thieves. Youd want someone like Richard Starks Parker running your job rather than a Wizard of Oz cosplayer.
And the Joker what was he doing in this book? He busts out of Arkham because he wants to rob a random family on Christmas and sing the Grinch song while doing it. Hes also desperate to know who the Holiday Killer is, though the reason why is never explained. He literally threatens Falcone. You find this Holiday. Or Ill kill everyone in Gotham City until I find him. Why do you care, Joker? Oh, and then he steals a bi-plane - literally a one-seater, which is also conveniently painted to look evil and cartoonish - from two pilots and a stewardess. Why are these people anywhere near a bi-plane? Theyre people youd expect to see on a commercial jet not anywhere near a crop-duster! The rogues are here because this is a Batman book, not because they service the plot or have anything to do with the story. They are totally and bafflingly included here for no other reason than to fill pages, pad out the book, and sell more comics.