Take a page not only out of Bruce Wayne's book but also of enterprising, real life teenage vigilantes. After posing as fifteen-year-old girls online in order to entrap paedophiles, the group then arranged meet ups where they appeared dressed as DC heroes Batman and The Flash. Which is sort of badass? Just so long as the police don't catch you. Much like the Gotham City PD, they're not big fans of super mukmuks.
62. Go METAL
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKmGC9qYSD4 We really don't have much more to add to this animated video of the Children Of Batman performing "Face Fisted", a none-more-heavy song from the Adult Swim comedy series Metalocalypse. Just that it's amazing, and we've watched it five times this morning already. Our neighbours will thank us later, we're sure.
61. Get A Dog And Name Him Ace
Remember when Batman had a dog? Why should Superman have all the fun, huh? Whilst Krypto The Superdog shared the sun-based superpowers of his owner, Ace The Bat-Hound was just a German Shepherd who got trained up in the ways of vigilante justice. And he wore a cowl, just like the Caped Crusader, because one time he went missing and Batman had already been putting up LOST DOG posters in his Bruce Wayne guise. Imagine if that was how people finally found out his secret identity. Imagine. Anyway, yeah, go adopt a dog and name him Ace. Just remember they're for life, not just for Batman Day.
60. Yell "WHERE'S HARVEY DENT" At People
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi5y30y9jAc There are unconfirmed reports that a member of the WhatCulture comics writing staff once had a little bit to drink and wandered the fields of a major music festival doing their best gravelly Batman voice at innocent passers by. Those unconfirmed reports also claim that it is 100% hilarious to do this and never, ever annoying, and highly recommend you do the same at least once. Possibly whilst answering the phone. So long as you have caller ID.
59. Watch The Bad Batman Films
Much like the Rocksteady Batman games being such a huge success partially in comparison to prior titles being so unrelentingly awful, the Nolan Dark Knight trilogy was given a helping hand critically and commercially by the complete and utter failure of the preceding Batman franchise. Once Tim Burton left the series Warner Bros., in their infinite wisdom, hired Joel Schumacher to take over as director. In his hands, Schumacher turned Batman into a trashy, camp mess. And not in a good way. Case in point: Alicia Silverstone as Batgirl, Jim Carrey as The Riddler, and Bat-Nipples. Still, at least Batman Forever and Batman & Robin are fun to watch. Mainly to laugh at.
58. Catalogue Arnie's Amazing Puns
The height of humour coming from Arnold Schwarzenegger as Mr Freeze, the main villain of Batman & Robin. Despite having a pretty tragic motivation - Dr Victor Fries got trapped in his cryogenic suit whilst trying to find a cure for his wife's fatal case of MacGregor's Syndrome - he spends most of the film cackling after making some truly heinous one liners. It's like a puntathlon, ninety minutes of awful wordplay. There's too many to choose from (best/worst in our eyes: "What killed the dinosaurs? The ice age!"), so why bother? Enjoy them all!
57. Marathon The Animated Series
If all of that leaves you itching to watch some on screen Batman that's genuinely good, however, you could do worse than popping in the nineties animated series. Under the watchful eye of Bruce Timm, who since produced all the (good) DC cartoons, this supposed kids series ended up being one of the most faithful adaptations of the Dark Knight we've yet seen. Gotham was a truly dark environment, the enemies were done right, and it still looks beautiful, twenty years later. There are four seasons, eighty five episodes, twenty minutes each that's...actually that's 31 hours, but you could still watch most of the series today. And you should.
Tom Baker is the Comics Editor at WhatCulture! He's heard all the Doctor Who jokes, but not many about Randall and Hopkirk. He also blogs at http://communibearsilostate.wordpress.com/
