10 Bad Movies Hollywood Should Remake As Comedies

Strictly speaking, Fifty Shades Of Grey was parodied as Fifty Shades Of Black, but that film failed to accurately spoof the hoary clichés that make the Fifty Shades franchise such compellingly crap cinema (or to provide any actual jokes) so the door is wide open for a comedy remake.

If you’re one of the three people who haven’t seen Fifty Shades, it’s about a smug billionaire (whose name is plastered across everything he owns) and his sexual hang-ups. Women refer to Christian Grey as “intense”, “fascinating”, “eligible”, and “ridiculously hot”, so basically this movie is implying that all women fantasize about Donald Trump.

Come on, Hollywood, this is too good a premise to waste. Imagine the fun you could have with a movie where Christian runs for President against Ana Steele and even though he keeps tweeting his favourite names for his penis (#6: “Luke Thighwalker”) to all the wrong women, he still gets the job.

When it turns out that he paid a porn star $130,000 for her silence, nobody cares because by then everyone’s sensations have been dulled by watching him fail on a daily basis. Throw in a psychic penguin from the Fourth Dimension as his Vice President, and you’re talking Best Picture.