10 Bad Movies Hollywood Should Remake As Comedies

This movie about vegetarian dwarves was never aiming for High Art, but due to budgetary constraints said dwarves wear rubber masks and burlap sacks in a bungled attempt to appear “menacing”. Worse, they’re ruled by a bad actor in the worst makeup job you’ve ever seen.

In a town called Nilbog (“that’s ‘goblin’ spelled backwards,” someone helpfully explains), these creatures lure unsuspecting families to their doom by feeding them green glop that turns them into vegetable matter the goblins can consume. Yes, the creatures are all goblins, not trolls. There isn’t a single troll in the entire film.

The only people that can save the Waits family are young Josh (Michael Paul Stephenson) and his dead Grandpa (Robert Ormsby), who can freeze time, cause objects to move and appear as a disembodied head but can’t manifest himself in the correct room.

In the most memorable sequence, Josh has to devise a split-second plan for preventing his family from eating the contaminated food, which he does by urinating on the table to the understandable surprise of his father, who delivers the immortal line: “You can’t p*ss on hospitality – I won’t allow it!”