10 Famous American Actors With Awful British Accents

5. Madonna - Swept Away (2002)

Sweptaway If you ever see this crap you'd live in hope that the title is taken quite literally and the cruel tides wash Madonna out to sea, never to be seen nor heard again. Directed by then-husband Guy Ritchie, this dreary flop of a romantic comedy sees Madge playing an unlikeable and spoilt tramp in unflattering attire €“ so, well... not much of a stretch, let's be honest. It's a stark and juxtaposing contrast to Richie's previous brilliant and gritty British titles, seemingly taken on to give his missus a starring role. The plot is dull and uninvolving, and the visuals are painful enough to endure without Madge's faltering accent whining in our ears. For someone who can't make up her mind to whether she's British or American, her adopted fake British accent which she's spoken with for many years never seems to improve. It's remarkable how she still can't get it right and speaks as if she has a giant rod protruding from her arse. As always then, her accent here is bad, annoying, and it grates. Oh, and the film is really, really sh*t.

Steven feels like a sociopath writing a bio about himself in third person, but it feels kind of nice, and he's sure he'll get used to it.