3. Bloodrayne (2005)
Much like the above, Uwe Boll again managed to size up a bafflingly distinguished cast for this film based on the large-breasted half-vampire who spends her days walking the earth staking bad vampires. Oscar-winner Ben Kingsley is clearly slumming it the most, taking a break from his plethora of acclaimed roles for what is surely his most risible and effortless performance. In fact, in general, the casting department seem to be more infatuated with star power than actually finding people suited to the roles; Michelle Rodriguez and especially Michael Madsen are embarrassingly miscast in their gung-ho roles here, but perhaps that's a by-product of the fact that they look so embarrassed to be adding an Uwe Boll film to their CV. Add to this straight-to-video lion Billy Zane, and a truly strange turn from Meat Loaf - who spends most of his screen-time in tight leather, rolling around with a harem of scantily-clad women - and you have a film that raises the very occasional titter, and features a brief, if sterile, scene of nudity featuring Loken, but on the hole, this is one vampire film that just, ahem, sucks. Much like the previous film, Boll somehow still managed to wring a sequel out of it.