5. A Sword Fight Will Have A Break Where The Swords Are At Face Level
Notable Offenders: Hook, Pirates Of The Caribbean Our swashbuckling saviour is locked in an intense final battle with the evil pirate. Throughout the movie we've wanted these two to just go at it already and they haven't disappointed. They clash their penis-metaphors over and over again to the soundtrack of sexy steel upon sexy steel. Once we think we know who has the upper hand, we are surprised. God this is great. And look, they've clashed their swords at face level and are literally inches apart. That's how close this is! And now they've exchanged some witty banter. My god this is fantastic. Look at them go! Now to tell you the truth, I don't know why we couldn't live without this one. I don't. It might be something to with fact that we need a little respite in with all the action just to pace things out a bit, and what better way to do that than with a little witty repartee? But it does make you wonder why one of them doesn't just give a little flick of the wrist so his opponent can shuffle off this mortal coil. It would be so easy. But the need for funny chat will always get in the way of logic in fight scenes. Always. And I will never mind one bit.