10 Important Life Lessons Learned From Every Movie Ever

8. An Evil Senator Is Usually Responsible

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Fox

As though intent on proving the central thesis of Michael Moore’s Stupid White Men, Hollywood claims that Senators have been behind every war, catastrophe or terrorist attack in American history.

Middle aged, humourless and typically played by slumming character actors, these guys have no problem funding cyber criminals (Swordfish), legalizing gambling (The Last Boy Scout) or making life difficult for the X-Men. When Steven Seagal stumbled across Senator William Sadler’s nefarious dealings, Sadler sent goons after him, little realizing he was Hard To Kill.

Even in a galaxy far, far away, the song remains the song. Senator Palpatine might be the Most Evil Character in the known universe, but he attained power via bureaucratic delays and Trade Federation blockades, and once in office, used constitutional loopholes to rule long after the expiration of his term. This of course paved the way for his apprentice, some fella named Vader.  

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Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'