10 Insufferable Films That Must Be April Fool Jokes
9. Hideaway (1995)
This is the Dean Koontz adaptation that so appalled the author that he had his name removed, which cost more in arbitration fees than he received for the screen rights. Dialogue such as Even as a child, Jeremy was hopelessly psychotic, but he was still my son mustve been written over cocktails, as was the sequence where a blind character says, I will see myself to the door. And dont even mention the scene where a cop tells Jeff Goldblum to take Alka Seltzer for his gut feeling that a woman is about to be murdered (which of course she is). Best of all, though, is the climactic fight in an abandoned amusement park where, for no reason that is ever made clear, Goldblum suddenly transforms into a levitating blue angel so that he can vanquish his opponent a flying red CGI demon. Devotees of the novel were said to be unimpressed.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
