5. Lindsay Lohan & Lindsay Lohan Vs A Psycho Killer - I Know Who Killed Me (2007)
When Aubrey (Lohan) disappears, her parents and the police assume shes been abducted by the killer of one of her classmates, but when Dakota (also Lohan) is found by a motorist, everyone believes shes the missing girl. Are they mistaken, or are Aubrey and Dakota the same person? Its an intriguing set-up and director Chris Sivertson, some unintentional guffaws aside, does a decent job. Then it all goes wrong. While Aubrey was a piano prodigy with literary aspirations, Dakota is a potty-mouthed slut whose first act is to bed Aubreys boyfriend, much to the surprise of Mom, whos downstairs trying to shut out the sound of creaking bedsprings. Best of all, though, is the explanation for Dakotas missing limbs, which were hitherto thought to have been hacked off by the killer. You might shed a few hairs in the shower, but when you lose a hand and foot, when they just drop off, something is seriously wrong. Most of us would, you know, report that. Google provides the only logical explanation the theory of Stigmatic Twins which (as any aspiring Dr Mengele will tell you) states that whatever wounds are inflicted on one twin are experienced by the other. So if one girl is being carved up by a sicko, her sister must of course exhibit similar wounds. Obviously. No other explanation is possible.
Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'
