is a popular video game franchise about a bald guy in a suit who is really good at killing people. This was made into a movie in 2007, and although reception was negative and fans of the original game said, "Oh God, no, please stop this" in their masses, some bright spark somehow translated that reception as "Please have another go at adapting this property, even though it's only been five years since the last failed attempt." Which is why we're getting Agent 47
, a sort of half-assed reboot of whatever this is supposed to be like on the big screen. So who do we have attached to this project to give us a much needed confidence boost? Steven Spielberg? James Cameron? Uh, well, kind of. And by "kind of," I mean none of those people. Aleksander Bach is the guy tasked with helming this movie, which is of course good because he's NEVER DIRECTED A MOVIE BEFORE. Well, they've at least probably got somebody good lined up to play the titular character, right? Somebody cool? How about the incredibly boring lead character from the Fast & Furious
movies, whose name you don't even know? Will It Suck?
Unknown first-time director with vaguely European name? Check? Movie is based on a video game? Check. Paul Walker is rumoured to play the lead role? Check. Yep, it's going to blow. Big time.