10 Thoughts Every Guy Had While Watching Fifty Shades Darker
"Isn't this supposed to be sexy?"
Two down, one to go.
A lot of men probably felt that way after Fifty Shades Darker ended, its dull, lifeless storytelling and unintentionally hilarious dialogue proving just as weird a combination as they did with the first movie back in 2015.
Not that anybody expected a cinematic marvel this time around, but with a director known for House of Cards and and a talented cast including Kim Basinger and Marcia Gay Harden, it's hard to comprehend exactly how it turned out as poorly as it did.
And inevitably, as is the case with any unengaging movie, your mind will start to wander. Tiny, pointless details will pique your interest and your thoughts will drift, scrambling for any shred of entertainment they can find.
If, like a lot of men, you were dragged to Fifty Shades Darker by a spouse or significant other, you probably had a similar experience. It's hard to watch a film you aren't really interested in, especially when said film is undeniably lacklustre - and aimed at the opposite sex.
So you can't really be blamed for the series of random thoughts that probably crossed your mind.
10. "She Said I Wouldn't Be The Only Guy Here!"
Before you went to watch the movie, you were repeatedly reassured by your wife/girlfriend that there'd be plenty of other men in the theatre. The sheer amount of females that would certainly be in attendance made it likely that at least one of them also took their boyfriend along for the ride. Right?
But, as you descend into the warm darkness of your designated screen and quickly take an obligatory glance around, the horrible realisation that you are the only audience member of the male variety quickly sets in.
Embarrassed, you rush for your seat and bury your face in a monstrous bucket of popcorn, taking occasional slurps from a cool, large Pepsi - no ice.
You ended up staying this way for much of the movie's runtime, afraid that the females surrounding you would smell your fear, beginning to wish you'd brought one of Christian Grey's black masks to shield your identity.
Many of us likely endured such an uncomfortable situation, so remember that while we all sat through the same terrible movie, for others it was much, much worse than just that.