10 Thoughts Every Guy Had While Watching Fifty Shades Freed

8. "How The F*ck Did They Drag This Out For Three Films"

Fifty Shades Freed Dakota Johnson
Universal

In all seriousness, Fifty Shades would have actually worked better as a single film, one that condenses the key elements of the trilogy down and gets rid of all the fluff - which is roughly 81.32% of the movies as they currently stand.

Act One would remain largely the same as the opening of the first film, with Ana meeting Christian, the pair growing closer, and finally doing the dirty.

Act Two begins with them now a couple, flashing back to Christian's childhood (like Fifty Shades Darker did) and explaining why he is the way he is. Jack Hyde would also be introduced as Ana's boss, the act ending with him attacking - and attempting to sexually exploit - her in the workplace.

As Act Three begins, Christian realises (thanks to the danger she just found herself in) that he doesn't want to be without Ana, and so the two marry. A while later, Hyde returns to have his revenge, and the movie ends in a similar manner to how Fifty Shades Freed did.

This way, you cut out all the useless garbage - the many scenes where Christian buys Ana stuff, the pointless subplots with Ana's friends, Kim Basinger's wasted character - and create a tighter experience.

In any event, one movie would be easier to stomach than three.

Contributor
Contributor

Danny has been with WhatCulture for over ten years, and is currently Doctor Who Editor and WhoCulture Channel Manager, overseeing all of WhatCulture's Whoniverse coverage. In 2022, he took charge of WhoCulture and has grown it into the biggest Doctor Who channel on YouTube, and one of the biggest Doctor Who communities on the web full-stop. He has been writing and video editing since his early teens, and first got a taste for content creation after making his own Doctor Who trailers, off the back of a burning obsession with the Matt Smith era of the show. Like many his age, he first got into Doctor Who with the 2005 revival, but has since gone back and fallen in love with the classic years too. If you need someone to recite every Doctor Who episode in order, or to give you a random factoid about the making of Gridlock, Danny is the person to ask!