10 Thoughts Every Guy Had While Watching Fifty Shades Freed
8. "How The F*ck Did They Drag This Out For Three Films"
In all seriousness, Fifty Shades would have actually worked better as a single film, one that condenses the key elements of the trilogy down and gets rid of all the fluff - which is roughly 81.32% of the movies as they currently stand.
Act One would remain largely the same as the opening of the first film, with Ana meeting Christian, the pair growing closer, and finally doing the dirty.
Act Two begins with them now a couple, flashing back to Christian's childhood (like Fifty Shades Darker did) and explaining why he is the way he is. Jack Hyde would also be introduced as Ana's boss, the act ending with him attacking - and attempting to sexually exploit - her in the workplace.
As Act Three begins, Christian realises (thanks to the danger she just found herself in) that he doesn't want to be without Ana, and so the two marry. A while later, Hyde returns to have his revenge, and the movie ends in a similar manner to how Fifty Shades Freed did.
This way, you cut out all the useless garbage - the many scenes where Christian buys Ana stuff, the pointless subplots with Ana's friends, Kim Basinger's wasted character - and create a tighter experience.
In any event, one movie would be easier to stomach than three.