10 Worst Horror Films Of All Time

A different kind of shocker

Blackenstein movie
Xenon Pictures

Anyone who thinks all bad movies are a laugh riot would be cured if locked in a cinema during a triple bill of Track Of The Moon Beast, Octaman and Tales From The Crapper. Movies that are enjoyably bad are a rare commodity (if not a dying breed), but the amount of joyless and oppressive films stretches to the moon and back.

You could, for instance, find yourself watching The Creeping Terror, surely the only movie where a killer carpet from space terrorizes a community by devouring folk singers and bikinied starlets. If that description sounds like fun, be aware that the director lost the soundtrack in post-production and brought in a local newsreader to narrate the picture, turning a cheap and messy film into a thoroughly unwatchable one.

Or how about Dark Harvest 2: The Maize, which critic Michael Adams said was “for people who thought The Blair Witch Project didn’t have nearly enough wandering around captured on grainy video”? Anyone who watches this little buddy had better enjoy seeing a bad actor walking through a field shouting, “Girls, where are you?”, because that’s about half the movie. Later, the same character digs a hole – which takes up 8 minutes of screen time.

If you thought Fantastic Four was “the worst movie ever”, you might want to withhold judgment until you’ve watched the following. 

10. Blackenstein

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L0Fxt4LVUQg

Following Blacula and Dr Black Mr Hyde, another public domain horror title gets the Blaxploitation treatment, only this time the results are much less interesting.

Dr Stein, an evil genius who has “just won the Noble Prize for solving the DNA genetic code”, is puttering around his lab when a former student arrives with some news – her boyfriend Eddie, who lost his arms and legs in Vietnam, is coming home. Knowing that the Doc is an expert at limb reattachment, she requests his help, and you know what that means.

Don’t get excited, because half the movie is over before Eddie gets off his slab and starts running amok. In fact, there’s no reason to bother at all with this time waster, which looks cheap, is full of uninteresting characters and worst of all, doesn’t have the decency to be funny. 

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Contributor

Ian Watson is the author of 'Midnight Movie Madness', a 600+ page guide to "bad" movies from 'Reefer Madness' to 'Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead.'