12 Movie Sequels That Prove You Should Never Go Back
6. Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights
What It Billed As
A belated sequel to the awkward-teenager-is-seduced-by-much-too-old-danceathon classic, relocating to fiery Cuba for a revolutionary undertone to the dancing. Same dynamic as before though, with a conservative stick in the mud finding love and a passion for dance in a dangerous stranger.
Oh and Patrick Swayze turns up as Johnny Castle teaching dance in Cuba. Ignore the fact that the timeline is all over the place. It's fine.
What It Actually Was
A weakling remake that tries its hardest to recapture the spirit - and in some cases the actual specific beats - of the original, with a far, far less iconic cast and nothing of the iconic music or dangerous spirit of rebellion. Ironically, since it's basically set in the middle of one.
It's a poor, bargain-basement mimic, with very little actually going for it and not a single "I carried a watermelon" moment to remember long after the bad bits evaporate away.
Also, the dancing isn't even remotely dirty: it's almost (and whisper this) like they're saying it's dirty because it's with foreigners. That can't be right, surely?