15 Worst Movies Of 2015 (So Far)
4. Fifty Shades Of Grey
Rotten Tomatoes: 25%
Repeat to yourself slowly and carefully: it's not porn, it's not porn, it's not porn.
Unfortunately for Sam Taylor-Johnson's glib "sex movie", if it had been porn it might well have actually been worth watching. In supremely ironic fashion, it appears the director had her hands bound from actually making the film Fifty Shades' fans wanted to see.
Instead, they saw all of the sexiness sucked out and replaced by a glum by-the-numbers romance that is on equal quality footing with the garbage writing EL James somehow passed off as an international best-seller.
When your movie makes Showgirls look so good, it's maybe time to concede you've messed up. Sadly, though, the box office and the infinite potential for the sequels to make even more soulless money means it could have been two hours of Jamie Dornan tenderising a gammon steak in his underpants and it would still spark a franchise.