31 Horror Films To Watch This October

It excises the camp value, has no use for the Burt Bacharach theme song and isn’t really all that great, but this revamp of the 1958 cult classic has the right attitude: only teenagers can save the world from the terrible mistakes of corrupt and hypocritical adults.

There’s this extra-terrestrial Jell-O slithering down Anystreet, USA, dissolving vagrants and quarterbacks and a pre-Under Siege Erika Eleniak, and the only person alive to tell the tale is bad boy Brian (Kevin Dillon), who we know has a problem with authority just by looking at him. He wears a leather jacket and rides a motorcycle. So nobody listens to him. The Sheriff’s out chasing tail, mom’s worried about her boy sneaking in to see Garden Tool Massacre and check out pop’s face when he realizes his daughter’s dating the guy he just sold condoms to.

When the chili hits the fan, these people are about as useful as the Padre who runs around screaming it has “all been prophesized”, Blob attacks being a big part of the Bible. Eventually a “government-sanctioned containment team” blows in to exacerbate the situation, and only Brian is smart enough to realize that El Bloberino is “some kind of germ warfare test they f**ked up”, which The Evil Scientist intends to capture and weaponize, screw the collateral damage.