Alternative Oscars 2019: The Nominees & Winners For Every Category

7. Best Original Song

WINNER: "Shallow" (A Star Is Born)*

Best Original Song is always a pretty groan-worthy category, skewing too enthusiastically towards syrupy, melodramatic pop music and rarely showing diversity towards different genres.

And though Lady Gaga's "Shallow" from A Star Is Born does in fact deserve its inevitable win, it's the only nomination-worthy song in the five-film field. Black Panther's "All the Stars" is catchy but generic, RBG's "I'll Fight" is pure Swiss cheese, Mary Poppins Returns' "The Place Where Lost Things Go" is one of the movie's lesser songs, and The Ballad of Buster Scruggs' "When a Cowboy Trades His Spurs for Wings" is good but not quite good enough.

Our newly-assigned runners-up are Thom Yorke's soul-stirring "Suspirium" from Suspiria, Mary Poppins Returns' wonderful "The Cover Is Not the Book", Deadpool 2's hilarious and genuinely epic Celine Dion ballad "Ashes", and Michael Bolton's brilliant toe-tapper "Upbeat Inspirational Song About Life" from Teen Titans Go! To the Movies.

RUNNERS-UP:

2. "Suspirium" (Suspiria)

3. "The Cover Is Not the Book" (Mary Poppins Returns)

4. "Ashes" (Deadpool 2)

5. "Upbeat Inspirational Song About Life" (Teen Titans Go! To The Movies)