Cats 2019: Every Song Ranked From Least To Most Horrifying
1. Jennyanydots: The Old Gumbie Cat
Even if you haven't watched the film (which, judging by the sad box office, most probably haven't) you've probably heard tales of Rebel Wilson's Gumby Cat.
The first horrifying thing you'll notice, apart from Rebel Wilson CGI'd into a naked cat woman, is her penchant for opening her legs constantly, rolling around, exposing herself and scratching her inner thighs. But that isn't even the worst part.
She then proceeds to reveal tiny CGI mice children whose faces are rendered like a Snapchat filter, singing and dancing on a tiny stage while she threatens to eat them. The song then goes on to present a marching line of human CGI cockroaches, which Rebel Wilson's Gumby Cat also eats. But that's not even the worst part.
She eventually unzips her own skin to reveal an outfit underneath, which, while it saves us from the antics of a naked cat exposing and scratching herself in uncomfortable places, is even more horrifying when it actually comes into play later at the climax of the film, making it an actual plot device, the fact that she can unzip her own skin.
This song epitomises everything that makes CATS not only bad, but a nightmare.