Cats 2019: Every Song Ranked From Least To Most Horrifying

Something of a denouement to the climactic one-two punch of Mister Mistoffelees and the show-defining Memory, there is something intensely unnerving about having Judi Dench staring directly at the audience and singing about how cats are definitely not dogs.

With the enjoyable energy of Mistoffelees' magic trick and the dramatic, inescapably great performance of Jennifer Hudson's Grizabella, the Ad-Dressing of Cats just seems... unnecessarily weird and boring at the same time, where the entire cast is relegated to looking intensely at Judi Dench's Old Deuteronomy while she looks just as intently at you, the audience.

Unlike Bustopher Jones, which at least has the benefit of a good, bouncing beat just enough fun to keep the audience watching, this is the part where you realise the movie has run far too long, and you probably fell asleep halfway so you don't know why Judi Dench is talking to you.

This is also the infamous scene in which the original unfinished theatrical version shows her human hand under her fur coat, making it both boring and disturbing at the same time - a sadly impressive feat.