EVERY Halloween Death RANKED By Stupidity

Ranking every death of the Halloween franchise, from least stupid to most.

by Andrew Pollard
Rob Zombie's Halloween II Michael Myers
Dimension Films

For many long-time horror fans, the Halloween franchise is the greatest franchise in horror history, with Michael Myers and Laurie Strode rightfully viewed as two of the greatest characters in the genre.

Across 13 movies involving several different lines, we've seen Michael forever tormenting Haddonfield, be that targetting Laurie, going after his own bloodline, being controlled by a cult, or even getting Rob Zombie's patented grim and grimy sheen put on him. And then there's the one Michael-less film, Halloween III: Season of the Witch, which instead focussed on Conal Cochran and his nefarious Silver Shamrock scheme.

Of course, throughout those movies, we've seen an incredible amount of bloodshed and brutality; some movies more so than others. While some of those deaths are iconic and rank as some of the best in horror, there are those other deaths that fall flat for various reasons, not least in just how dumb they were - be that decisions made by characters, or decisions made by the creative powers-that-be behind these pictures.

Having painstakingly looked back through all 13 films and every single death, we've an exhaustive, comprehensive breakdown of those deaths in order of stupidity, going from least stupid to most stupid. However, this article will not feature the franchise's off-screen deaths, is based on the theatrical cut of the movies, and no, those pesky androids from Season of the Witch don't count; human victims only here. And if you've got a different opinion to the one here, that's all fine and good. Different opinions are fun and are highly encouraged, especially when doing something as daft as deciding to rank every kill from a 13-film franchise.

So with that in mind, let's get going with the first of approximately 200 deaths...

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Senior Writer
Senior Writer

Once described as the Swiss Army Knife of WhatCulture, Andrew can usually be found writing, editing, or presenting on a wide range of topics. As a lifelong wrestling fan, horror obsessive, and comic book nerd, he's been covering those topics professionally as far back as 2010. In addition to his current WhatCulture role of Senior Content Producer, Andrew previously spent nearly a decade as Online Editor and Lead Writer for the world's longest-running genre publication, Starburst Magazine, and his work has also been featured on BBC, TechRadar, Tom's Guide, WhatToWatch, Sportkskeeda, and various other outlets, in addition to being a Rotten Tomatoes-approved film critic. Between his main day job, his role as the lead panel host of Wales Comic Con, and his gig as a pre-match host for Wrexham AFC games, Andrew has also carried out a hugely varied amount of interviews, from the likes of Robert Englund, Kane Hodder, Adrienne Barbeau, Rob Zombie, Katharine Isabelle, Leigh Whannell, Bruce Campbell, and Tony Todd, to Kevin Smith, Ron Perlman, Elijah Wood, Giancarlo Esposito, Simon Pegg, Charlie Cox, the Russo Brothers, and Brian Blessed, to Kevin Conroy, Paul Dini, Tara Strong, Will Friedle, Burt Ward, Andrea Romano, Frank Miller, and Rob Liefeld, to Bret Hart, Sting, Mick Foley, Ricky Starks/Saints, Jamie Hayter, Britt Baker, Eric Bischoff, and William Regal, to Mickey Thomas, Joey Jones, Phil Parkinson, Brian Flynn, Denis Smith, Gary Bennett, Karl Connolly, and Bryan Robson - and that's just the tip of an ever-expanding iceberg. Where his beloved Wrexham AFC is concerned, Andrew is co-host of the Fearless in Devotion podcast, which won the Club Podcast of the Year gong at the 2024 FSA Awards.