EVERY Halloween Death RANKED By Stupidity

Ted Hollister - Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers

An exception to this list, as this kill actually happens off-screen and we don't even get to see the character at all, but the death of Ted Hollister needs to be featured here solely for the stupidity of his killers.

You see, rather than Michael Myers, Ted is shot and killed by a bunch of the vigilante Haddonfield locals. Boozed up, these locals decide to take justice into their own hands after the majority of the police force has been killed. However, all their 'blindly shooting into some bushes' does is leave Ted dead.

Absolute idiots.

Tommy Doyle & The Haddonfield Mob - Halloween Kills

Halloween Kills Tommy Doyle Leigh Brackett Haddonfield Mob — Universal

Speaking of vigilante mobs...

"Evil dies tonight! Evil dies tonight! Evil dies tonight! Evil dies to..." - you get the idea.

For the bulk of Halloween Kills, Tommy Doyle and his mob of Haddonfield locals spout that motto as they decide to take justice into their own hands and put Michael Myers down for good. And you know what, when they do finally find Michael - well, the real Michael, and not poor Lance Tivoli - the group absolutely gets the better of him, beating him down with anything from baseball bats, to pipes, to knives, and even some woman turning up to fight Michael with an iron.

After Karen Nelson has taken Michael's mask and lured him out into the street, the Haddonfield mob swarm the Shape and beats him to a pulp, complete with Karen finishing the job with a knife to the back.

Of course, the job is totally not finished, as our Haddonfield locals don't particularly bother to make sure that Michael is actually, y'know, dead. So, that means he's soon back on his feet, where he kills a whole bunch of locals in a swift, stabby few minutes of crazy camera cuts, saving Tommy Doyle for last.

Andrew Pollard

Senior Writer

Once described as the Swiss Army Knife of WhatCulture, Andrew can usually be found writing, editing, or presenting on a wide range of topics. As a lifelong wrestling fan, horror obsessive, and comic book nerd, he's been covering those topics professionally as far back as 2010. In addition to his current WhatCulture role of Senior Content Producer, Andrew previously spent nearly a decade as Online Editor and Lead Writer for the world's longest-running genre publication, Starburst Magazine, and his work has also been featured on BBC, TechRadar, Tom's Guide, WhatToWatch, Sportkskeeda, and various other outlets, in addition to being a Rotten Tomatoes-approved film critic. Between his main day job, his role as the lead panel host of Wales Comic Con, and his gig as a pre-match host for Wrexham AFC games, Andrew has also carried out a hugely varied amount of interviews, from the likes of Robert Englund, Kane Hodder, Adrienne Barbeau, Rob Zombie, Katharine Isabelle, Leigh Whannell, Bruce Campbell, and Tony Todd, to Kevin Smith, Ron Perlman, Elijah Wood, Giancarlo Esposito, Simon Pegg, Charlie Cox, the Russo Brothers, and Brian Blessed, to Kevin Conroy, Paul Dini, Tara Strong, Will Friedle, Burt Ward, Andrea Romano, Frank Miller, and Rob Liefeld, to Bret Hart, Sting, Mick Foley, Ricky Starks/Saints, Jamie Hayter, Britt Baker, Eric Bischoff, and William Regal, to Mickey Thomas, Joey Jones, Phil Parkinson, Brian Flynn, Denis Smith, Gary Bennett, Karl Connolly, and Bryan Robson - and that's just the tip of an ever-expanding iceberg. Where his beloved Wrexham AFC is concerned, Andrew is co-host of the Fearless in Devotion podcast, which won the Club Podcast of the Year gong at the 2024 FSA Awards.

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