1. The Wachowskis
Why's it a good idea?Boo! They ruined The Matrix! Get them off this list, you traitor! Let's forget about that horrific mishap for just a second and concentrate on why the Wachowskis might just be the best men (
uh, "people") for the job in the whole entire world. Despite the fact that those
Matrix sequels were...
something... we can't forget that the Wachowski's created the original
Matrix film in the first place which is, whether you think so or not, one of the greatest science-fiction films ever made and the reason you're so pissed. Yes, this double helping of cyberpunk-obsessed filmmaker have proven themselves to be perfectly in tune with Japanese aesthetics, anime, action spectacle, and a whole host of weird and wonderful science-fiction influences from across the span of time. Better yet, they've shown us that they can bring it all together successfully - like a wisecracking basketball coach who rallies a down-on-their-luck basketball team - to create something fresh and exciting and with guns. When you take
Metal Gear Solid apart, piece by piece, it's an obvious hybrid of so many varying elements (remember what we said about Christopher Walken's face?) There's the anime influence, of course, which the Wachowskis stole (we mean
borrowed) from
Akira, and varying issues of philosophy running in the background, just like... oh, yeah,
The Matrix! And say they got to some sort of sequel because this project doesn't lose $250 million at the box office, these two are perfect for getting all meta-movie what with
The Matrix being two worlds and focused on themes of perception and reality. Woah! Then there's large scale fights against giant robots and psychic villains who want you to unplug your controller, and the Wachowski's have shown themselves more than capable of producing epic action sequences.
The Matrix Reloaded was shitty, but was that motorway car chase? It was not. On a visual level, too,
Metal Gear Solid is dark and broody because it's mostly just corridors and computer rooms, and there were definitely corridors and computers in
The Matrix (in fact, that's all there was). Above all,
Metal Gear Solid is very, very Japanese - even if you strip away all the references to sushi and vending machines and Americanise it - and this is an area that these siblings know extremely well. They can do action. They can do philosophy. They can do robot fights and video game-influenced visuals (and some pervy stuff, too, if that pleases you and you're familiar with Japan). It's also worth nothing that they've already worked with Keanu Reeves, who has about as much personality as a 8-bit video game character, and still managed to drag a fair performance out of him. Just imagine what they could do with an actor of the 360 variety.
Why's it a bad idea? Well, the Wachowskis haven't exactly made a great film for a while. Although their skills lie in both intricate detail and visual splendour, these things also happen to doubles over as their weaknesses. Kind of like an Achilles's heel if an Achilles's heel also allowed you to do backflips or something. The guilty party we're obviously referring to is
Speed Racer, which I won't even try to defend because that's just not allowed even if you think it was a really brave attempt at transforming anime into a fully-fledged human-interpretation movie thing. It's also fairly risky handing the Wachowski's such a complex franchise because, hey, they might try to be too smart with
Metal Gear Solid and, you know, put the characters in a big room with a bunch of TV screens whilst they watch themselves playing a video game that's actually a 2 hour long cut-scene of the events going on in a VR mission which turns out to be just the sum of Meryl Silverburgh's waking dream. Hey, I didn't say I was Philip K. Dick.
Tell us who you want to ruin your favourite game franchise below. Uh, adapt. We mean "adapt."