2. Manos: The Hands of Fate (1966)
Summary: Any description for a movie that begins with "Harold Warren was a fertilizer salesman who produced the film as the result of a bet" is not going to be a good film. In fact, it will probably be a terrible film. Or, if it's Manos: The Hands of Fate, it will be one of the most eye-gougingly horrific pieces of cinema ever known to man. Basically, it tells the tale of a family heading for vacation when they get lost and wind up at a strange house, called Valley Lodge, where they meet a guy named Torgo. He's the one in the above picture who looks like he's heading out to audition to be Mumford & Sons' new fiddle player. Torgo warns them about 'the Master', and... ah heck, just jump down to the 10-minute clip from the movie.
Why It Stinks: No one involved had any experience making a movie before. The actors show no expression or emotion, the script doesn't develop at all, and scenes are placed with seemingly no purpose. For instance, at regular intervals throughout the movie, we see a young couple making out in a parked car. And that's it. Over and over and over again. There are also regular occurrences of actors staring at the camera, or moments where you catch the clapperboard on the side of the shot. Finally, the night scenes were shot at night (because all the actors had day jobs), but the lighting caused great swarms of moths to be attracted to the camera, all of whom show up in the film.
Sample: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9qv0E_eXHZg
Best Riff: "This movie was filmed on location in a vacant lot."