3. The Day the Earth Froze (1959)
AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGHHHH....! Sorry, this is where they really really begin to hurt. I'll press on to the best of my ability.
Summary: This movie was a joint Finnish and Russian production, and tells the timeless classic tale of young Lemminkainen and his attempts to woo the lovely Annikki (whom we will hereafter refer to as Lemmy and Annie. Deal with it). Unfortunately, there is also an evil witch who lives across the sea who kidnaps Annie in order to get a ransom from her father. The price? A Sampo! Whaddya mean you've never heard of a Sampo? It's that magical device that creates an endless stream of gold, salt, and grain. When Lemmy learns that his beloved Annie has been taken, he journeys across the sea to rescue her, at which point the witch steals the sun under her cloak and plunges the world into a long cold night.
Why It Stinks: One of its primary faults is the same with many, many foreign films. Bad English dubbing. The audio sounds like it was recorded in a bathroom, complete with echo and unwanted sounds picked up in the background. Also, the snail's pacing for the movie certainly doesn't help. Finally, did you read the summary? How could this movie be good? Check the sample below to see what you've been missing.
Sample: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KYXTsWbFXiI
Best Riff: "Everyone make way for the Ku Kux Klowns!"