10 Dumbest Ways We've All Died In Video Games

2. Drowning In ANY Amount Of Water - Various

Mass effect 2
Rockstar

How is it possible that someone as lithe and agile as Assassin’s Creed’s Altair - a skilled assassin who can scale a building in three bounds - can die dramatically in a knee-deep puddle?

”Oh, but Tommy, I think you’ll find that in that part of the world, they wouldn’t be taught to swim - not in that portion of history, of course!” (Posh stifled mirth ensues)

Well, if that’s the case, what about Tommy Vercetti from GTA: Vice City, then? Did they not learn to swim in the 1980s? I was born in the 1980s, and I can swim (although I haven’t tried to do so whilst carrying a chainsaw). Or Cole MacGrath from InFamous, a literal superhero who can fire plasma from his palms and freaking levitate?! Why can’t he swim? Was he born in the 1980s, too?

Having owned a pygmy hedgehog, too, I know for a fact that hedgehogs are capable of swimming. Yet Sonic the Hedgehog, the alleged “fastest thing alive”, a creature that can run on water and absorb the power from magic gems to turn into an Akira Toriyama protagonist, dies because he defiantly refuses to swim.

He tries to run. Underwater. He doesn’t even float - how heavy even is he?!

1980s heavy?!

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Contributor
Contributor

Hiya, you lot! I'm Tommy, a 39-year-old game developer from Scotland - I live on the East coast in an adorable beachside village. I've worked on Need for Speed, Cake Bash, Tom Clancy's The Division, Driver San Francisco, Viva Pinata: Trouble in Paradise, Kameo 2 and much more. I enjoy a pun and, of course, suffer fools gladly! Join me on Twitter at @TotoMimoTweets for more opinion diarrhoea.