5. He Hates All Animals
Given that I firmly believe every single thing I read on the internet, it recently came to my attention that Mario is a animal killing, fur-wearing psychopath who gives literally no thought to skinning a poor Tanooki in order to get himself a swanky new jacket. This is according to PETA who I am reliably informed never over-react to anything, so it must definitely be true. It got me thinking though, Mario does have a bit of a penchant for abusing animals. Just think of the poor turtles who he scares until they retreat into their shells for protection only to then be kicked at another creature or ridden around on it until they inevitably fall down a crevice. What kind of sick, madman is he?