10 Reasons Mario Is Actually A Terrible Role Model

6. He Has A Serious Lack Of Job Commitment

Super-Mario-Bros-Wii-U While on the subject of Mario's apparent skill-set, has anyone actually ever seen him fix a sink? I don't think he has been anywhere near a pipe that he hasn't used to simply transport himself to a place underground where the music is far moodier. There is a chance that in the old days, before he was off rescuing Princesses, Mario simply fixed burst water mains and did his drugs, now though he is far too important for that. His negligence has caused untold amounts of damage and everyone has just had to deal with it as he has been too busy playing golf. How else can you explain the underwater sections in Mario Kart 7? Nobody builds a race track with an underwater section but this is the situation thanks to his complete lack of commitment to the plumbing trade.
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Tom is a budding novelist and film critic who is slowly coming to terms with the fact he might be too old to play for Arsenal. Follow him on Twitter for updates on his lunch @TomGilchrist