13. Even Though You're a Mute, Everyone Understands You
Struggle to speak? No problem in a RPG; just walk up to the nearest person and if they ask you a question, you'll somehow manage to answer it, express the entire story and give them the info they want simply by using the power of your mind. It's either that, or the person you're speaking to is just filling in the blanks themselves and making up their own tale in their head. For all they know, your name is Linkenella and you're on a mission to pick flowers and sing TV theme tunes.
12. Crazy Hair Importance
If you're ever going to make an impact in the world of an RPG, you're going to need a do that is utterly, positively and without a doubt in defiance of conventional laws of physics/optionally looks awesome. The basic rule is if you've got a massive head of hair, you're going to be important. If you've got a crappy haircut that doesn't make a statement, you may as well give up now and accept you'll be a supporting character forevermore.
Dan Curtis is approximately one-half videogame knowledge, and the other half inexplicable Geordie accent. He's also one quarter of the Factory Sealed Retro Gaming podcast.
