8 Premier League Teams As Video Games

With all the controversy surrounding Newcastle’s transfer policy, it might have been easier to compare them to a game loaded with microtransactions.

The problem with that is the games that come to mind for microtransactions are things like GTA V Online, Overwatch or FIFA itself. In other words, games that are usually pretty damn good without the grubby money stuff. And even without the grubby money stuff, Newcastle are not pretty damn good. Newcastle are several layers of old landfill under pretty damn terrible right now.

One thing Newcastle are (and will likely always be) is absolutely bonkers. Bonkers, bonkers, bonkers. And there’s no more bonkers game out there than Saint’s Row. You know, the game where you’re the President defending Earth from an alien invasion with a baseball bat shaped like a sex toy?

The Saints have Johnny Gat and the toon army have Rafa. If they go, all bets are off.