FIFA 14: 6 Players Bought By A Guy Who Doesn't Know Football

5. Joey Barton

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Pricetag: $1.2M

Want to know my favorite part of the Super Bowl every year?

Give up?

It's when Joey Barton tweets about the inevitably horrible half-time show. Though he's a pro footballer, there may not be anyone in the world more capable of summarizing the silly mini-concerts in 140 characters.

That alone was enough for me to want him, but knowing that he's a capable player and video games can't account for explosive off-field personalities, I felt like he'd be a great fit at Wolves. Once I'd locked up Karl Henry, I began my pursuit of Barton from QPR.

They weren't keen to give him up, and when they finally did I overpaid and he didn't want to come to a club that lacked prestige. Perhaps I'd underestimated the game's ability to capture a player's prickliness.

Undeterred, I upped my cash offer to $60K a week - nearly three times what the next best player on the club was making at that time - and asked him to come for only a year. He did, and he solidified my midfield for the Championship season well beyond what I expected of him.

How He Worked Out: Pretty well overall. He scored eight times in league play and added a few more in tournament games, and was even wearing the captain's armband in a few games. In typical Barton fashion he refused any offer I made to him that was under the $35K a week or three years he wanted, so I had to walk away.

I never sold him and there'll always be a place for the aging midfielder at Molineux if he doesn't find what he's looking for in free agency. For now though, I just have to look forward to his real life Twitter feed come February.

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Freelance writer situated on the east coast of Canada. Ten years writing pop culture, sports, news, and anything else that people will read. Follow me on Twitter @matthewjryder!