FIFA 14: 6 Players Bought By A Guy Who Doesn't Know Football

4. Kasper Schmeichel

Pricetag: $3.3M

Starting keeper Carl Ikeme decided to leave town in the first transfer window of my time as manager. Well, he didn't "decide" as much as I didn't know how to re-sign him and he took another offer. I did say that this managerial odyssey was often calamitous.

By the time that happened I'd kind of figured out how to scout guys, but my scouting was dreadful. I wanted a relatively young replacement who could grow with the team, so I sent out my one-star scouts to find him.

They came back suggesting Leicester City's Kasper Schmeichel, and since I remembered his dad Peter from my boyhood, I made him my target.

Again, it took multiple windows to sign him as I nibbled with lowball offers and swap offers for lesser talent. Leicester told me he was too valuable, so I knew I had to go big. I offered them major cash, far more than the young Dane was worth, and they took the deal.

And you know what happened? He absolutely sucked.

Though he was a 76 overall he was consistently worse than Ikeme was, and was worse than backup Wayne Hennessey as well. The fake headlines in the game suggested he wasn't fitting in with teammates, and his morale and form remained horrible for his entire stay at Wolverhampton.

A nightmare purchase, I had no idea what to do with him.

How He Worked Out: Dreadfully, between the lines. He was genuinely awful, giving up goal after goal and leaving me shouting at the television repeatedly. $3.3M was a lot of money in our Championship days, and he'd crippled us financially while giving us nothing for what we paid.

Thankfully upon transfer listing him at the first available window, some German team I've never heard of offered $5.5M for him. I have no idea why, but I didn't debate it. I sold him immediately and somehow made $2.2M.

I can't say he worked out well, but the cash infusion was certainly nice.